Are there any of you out there who find themselves in relationships or unable to release people who are toxic? Chaotic? Bring drama? Have mental illnesses or addictions and ways of being that cause you to feel crazy, depleted, overwhelmed, etc.?
Part of why this occurs is because you are someone who can relate and identify with them. You learned that to survive you must bend and release your own boundary, your own sense of what you need in order to share space, love, and connect with someone who was disconnected.
As you keep identifying with this person, and understanding, empathizing with their experience, there is a part of YOU who becomes it. As we identify with them, as we empathize with them, as we let their experience be felt and held as our own.
To disentangle you need to be fearless and courageous, you need to stop allowing yourself to relate to and engage in their suffering and disconnection.
Instead, you must align to perspectives of what you prefer to experience in your life. You determine who you are and who you want to be. YOU know the truth of who you are at your core and practice that, identify with that.
This may seem selfish or mean to some, it may be scary to others, however, you can never create value from allowing yourself to engage in painful patterns, in win/lose patterns, in toxic entanglements.
Accomplishing this, learning this lesson, will set you free. This is what I support some of my clients in. This was something I had to support myself in as well. If you find yourself drowning in relation to another person in your life, please get support. It doesn't have to be this way, and you can set yourself free.