So many people hold onto unhealthy attachments due to fear of feeling lonely, unloved, unworthy, not good enough, abandoned, inadequate, etc, stemming from our deepest wounds & fears.
And the funny thing is, the very thing you hold onto the attachment to avoid feeling, is the same experience that you recreate without knowing better. You end up recreating the pattern, and as Abe Hicks so wisely states, “different faces, different places” yet there you are dealing with the same heart wrenching experience. Why? Because the dynamic exists within YOU. This is great news because the power lies within you to change it all for the better.
So what do you do if you find yourself in an unhealthy attachment?
ADMIT THAT IT'S UNHEALTHY
Admit to yourself that you aren't living happy, true, free. Recognize that you are operating in survival mode and you have become comfortable in the discomfort.
IDENTIFY WHAT YOU ARE AVOIDING
Identify the pain and actual emotion you are avoiding feeling by staying in this dynamic. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen if you released it, and how would having to experience that thing make you feel?
LET YOURSELF FEEL IT
I can’t tell you how many clients I meet with who feel unsafe to let themselves actually feel. There are many beautiful coaches, practitioners, energy healers, as well as a number of techniques and modalities that can support you through this process. Feeling the fear and helping your nervous system understand you are safe, and that this feeling will not consume you forever or take you over is an important skill and practice. You see, as you block yourself from feeling unpleasant feelings, you are also at the same time inadvertently blocking the pleasurable ones, and this is the very dynamic that keeps you stuck.
ACTIVELY CHOOSE YOUR DESIRE- Remember that the feeling will only impact your ability to experience something different if you believe it does. Let your feelings be a physical body sensation without placing meaning on them. Know that you have a choice to believe in your desires and choose the desire over the feeling every single time.
You can let go of the attachment to what isn't working and have what you desire. We are here for that life experience and it is all there FOR YOU. You are so powerful that you get to choose, to decide what it gets to be for you.